It's rather sad really, when I think about it. For while one could certainly say that the time spent in my "studio" or my "shop" are for me anyhow -- is it really?
Last night I was packing up some last minute orders -- just before dinner, and just before my writing class I take through my Local Vet Center where I live. Dinner had finished, and I had not. I still had writing to complete / perfect for the class and I was still packing up what needed to get mailed.
My daughter walked in as I was stressing about what to complete first -- I went with the shop stuff before focusing more on the 'me' centric writing -- and asked if she could just make the sides to go with the meatloaf I had made. While this is a wonderful thing my daughter asked me -- and I let her do it of course -- I wonder, how much time when the kids are home am I too focused on the shop?
It's an important question when the lines are more thoroughly blurred like this in a "home shop" -- sometimes I wonder where the shop ends and where "home" really begins. Indeed, I often have to make a formal decision to stop with the shop (as I have stopped shipping 7 days a week, since the Post Office now locks its doors and I am constrained by dropping off during certain hours) and 'start' with the family.
For while working with the metals and gemstones is a healing thing for me - it's calming to my very tactile nature to be sure - there is always a time that becomes less healing, and more hiding. Hiding behind my drive focuses my attention from what I should be doing, what I need to be doing and stops the actual healing process at some point. I know this intellectually, but when one has dueling priorities it's tough to choose: Build the Business into a successful endeavor, or focus on what I started this with, calming my weary nerves.
So, today I called in sick to the shop. My shop. I was angry with myself, and thought for certain I was faking.
And lets be honest, even when I called in sick from work in the office, I still checked as much as I could at home -- so I will probably check on the shop once in a while. But, for now, my 'to-do' list is put to the side, my 'must create' and 'must photo' lists can wait for tomorrow. Even my mid-day chores around the house (which I use to break up the long days in the studio and working on the shop) will get done when they get done today.
I am calling in sick -- and probably watching many, many hours of cooking on television. This is for one reason only: For me.
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